Yes, I am ready for that conversation. TikTok is currently discussing the hypothetical scenario of a man “allowing” or “not allowing” (ugh) his girlfriend to go out with five male friends. He is driven by fears of what could happen to her—after we move beyond the victim-blaming and the assumption that the woman is a “slut,” of course.

We come to the boyfriend being afraid for his partner because he doesn’t trust her male friends.

Because he knows what MEN are capable of.

Trans women are not the problem. Trans woman are not assaulting women and children in bathrooms.

But the cis-het male gymnastics coach is.

The cis-het male dance teacher is.

The cis-het male swim team captain is.

The cis-het male Ivy League student is.

Uncle George is.

Dad is.

Men know. They know exactly who to be frightened of. They KNOW. They want to protect us… from men. The point is hitting them in the face over and over again and yet they keep. fucking. missing. it.

I reside in a country where violence against women is alarmingly pervasive. Last year, we tragically lost 101 women and 16 children due to domestic violence. Already this year, we have lost 9 lives, and we are not yet halfway through February.

I am ready for that conversation.